Business as Usual

(Imagine what it would be like if you were to have your blog audited)

KPMG's OPERATIONAL AUDIT OF THE BLOG "KAMOTHERAPY" - 11/04

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to this morning's briefing.

At the behest of our Client, who wishes to be known only as "Kamo", KPMG conducted a future-oriented, systematic, and independent evaluation of organizational activities during the initial first month period (10/04-11/04) of our Client's Blog, "Kamotherapy", in which we examined significant trends relating to the primary sources of evidence of operational policies and achievements related to organizational objectives.

In the course of our investigation we discovered three interesting trends:

- The word "fuck" was used approxmiately three thousand times in the space of less than 20 blog posts, leading to the conclusion that our Client has a penchant for being vulgar and crass. We project that unless our Client learns to emote in a more eloquent manner, people will begin to think that he has a severely limited vocabulary. However, our Client has assured us that he does not, in any case, give two shits.

- We estimate that our Client's preoccupation with turning this Blog into a Non-Blog, or in other words, a Non-Discernable Blog, will lead many readers to think he is just pissing about on the Internet or merely directing his frustration and/or amusement with life events in a similarly non-productive manner. However, our Client reassures us that that is the whole point of this Blog, as he is neither interested in being conventional nor has the inclination to bore readers about how the cornflakes didn't go "Snap, Crackle and Pop" this morning, or why he hasn't been a good boy lately. In the Client's own words:

"The whole point of this Blog is to channel the most personal and ridiculous ideas, thoughts and feelings that I sometimes have into something tangible and whole, and not to act as some sort of diary of events like most Blogs are. There isn't supposed to be any continuity to this Blog, other than that I write stuff as each day goes on. I don't find it an overbearing necessity to be endearing to readers, or to impress anyone by sounding clever. I just want to see how creatively I can express certain ideas and emotions, in different tones and patterns, using different signs for things that people would not normally contemplate. Yes, I want this Blog to be akin to a poor man's guide to Semiotics, a tribute of sorts to Roland Barthes and a means of channeling ideas that didn't make it to print, for whatever reason, to be here."

- Our Client, at this juncture, would like to make this Blog more "interactive", but is decidedly too ignorant of html to add pictures and would rather suffer the indignation of having a bare Blog than confuse and frustrate himself any further.

Thank you, and Good Day.