Honk Honk

PRE-COGNITION

Pronunciation: "prE-(")käg-'ni-sh&n

Function: noun

Etymology: Late Latin praecognition-, praecognitio, from Latin praecognoscere to know beforehand, from prae- + cognoscere; to know, clairvoyance relating to an event or state not yet experienced.

In the movie Minority Report, the three pre-cogs are named Arthur, Dashiell, and Agatha. The significance of the names of the pre-cogs is that they are all names of famous detective novelists: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Dashiell Hammett, and Agatha Christie. Bet you didn't know that.

In real life, all Malaysian motorcyclists are pre-cogs. They always know when the traffic lights are about to go from Red to Green, and just before they do, they rev their bullshit little scooters and race off in a huff and a puff. They can also sense when you are about to flip them the One-Finger Salute, and always turn their heads away knowingly.

Such clever fuckers.

However, a lot of them happen to be illiterate and cannot understand or interpret the meaning of road signs like "ONE WAY" or "NO ENTRY" or "NO PARKING."

This usually leads to alot of frustration and cursing on your part, but like most Malaysian drivers, I'm sure you already know this. And like me, you probably wish you kept a Chicago Cubs MLB Limited Edition Team Signature 35" baseball bat in the boot, just in case you ever get the chance to "talk" to one of these assholes.

Just kidding.

I think.