Highway Hell

To aspiring Works Ministers and national infrastructure planners alike, if you ever intend to build a highway that runs the length of Malaysia, say, from the northern state of Perlis to the southern tip of Johor, could you please consider making it at least, yes, in the very least FOUR FUCKING LANES ON EACH SIDE.

Yes?

FOUR FUCKING LANES ON EACH SIDE.

It took me 7 hours yesterday to travel from my dear grannie's in Taiping back to KL.

SEVEN FUCKING HOURS.

That's more than enough time to fly to Perth.

The story goes that when the authorities were running feasibility studies and projection models for the North-South highway, back in the Eighties, they based it on the Federal Highway.

THE FEDERAL FUCKING HIGHWAY.

Back in the Eighties, they must have thought that people would have probably had hover cars or could teleport back to their kampung by 2005.

THAT MUST BE WHY THEY BASED THEIR RESEARCH ON THE FEDERAL HIGHWAY.

What's more, the '80s recession and a lengthy court battle between the Opposition and United Engineers, the builders, held the project back for about two years after it was initially set to be built, therefore contributing to a rise in the cost of the project and forcing the authorities to skimp on the original plan.

Whatever that was.

Brilliant.

But I'm going to stop bitching now, because it was worth enduring the jam just to see the smile on my grannie's face when we arrived, and being there with her throughout the festivities. Oh and the food was brilliant, too.

Selamat Hari Raya.