Who Dem?

I just 'acquired' an old Frank Sinatra cover of Unforgettable. It's really good (you can hear the vinyl pops and shit) and I can see why Ole' Blue Eyes was such a hit with the ladies.

But there's one little problem here; it's not just Frank Sinatra.

There's a very good female vocalist on that track, too and I don't know who the fuck it is because it doesn't mention a duet on the MP3 tag and there's no fucking way of finding out by doing a Google search for "Frank Sinatra + Duets + Female Vocalist".

So, help me.

Who's that girl?

Go Away

Whoever is sending spam to my Gmail, please stop. Right now. I don't want to see Britney Spears's naked pussy and my penis is fine, thanks. And no, I don't want health insurance. I'm going to die young, okay?

Fearless

It took more time than it should have but even now it doesn't feel like it was enough. But since I always get this feeling whenever I'm on to something good, it must be okay.

And it has turned out okay.

In fact, this is 100% Kamo.

This is the sound I've been looking for, ever since Irwan passed me a copy of Fruity Loops in, fucking hell, 2002.

Moody yet not quite dark, brooding yet exultant, ashamed yet unafraid, heavy yet uncomplicated. With a nod to the old school. Coz that's where I'm from.

It's not D-Bridge, not SKC, not Marcus Intalex (bless his cotton socks), not Logistics, not Black Sun Empire, not Calibre, not Klute and most definitely it's not Technical Itch. It's none of the people that I look up to. But was inspired by all of them, all the same.

It's just me.

Fine Lines

Clients always say they want "cutting edge" but motherfuckers can you handle it?

Nah, didn't think so.

Wicked FLyer

I thought the name "Bongolia" sounds a bit dodgy but the flyer is fucking on.

On a roll

I was seraching for tunes by Desimal when I stumbled onto Khal's DNB blog Dubplate Digest.

Next thing I know, he's linked up my MySpace page! Wicked. Cheers, Khal.

Maybe Marcus Intalex will check it. Haha.

Dead as doornails

Thanks to a cheeky Iraqi executioner, the Broadband-enabled world managed to download and/or stream the demise of one of our worst 20th Century dictators.

But what does that unauthorised video really conclude?

Apart from the fact that it implies most Iraqis are completely shit with camera phones, it also tells us that, from now on, seeing really is believing.

I'm not sorry for Saddam.

I'm just thinking; shit, did I actually see that?

The Best Compliment Ever

I was messing around with a bass line on my new dnb track "Tha Fundamentalz" a few days ago, and my Dad stumbles into the room and says "Nice track. I think your music has improved".

This coming from a Sixties hippie who doesn't like any of that 'MTV devil music' or '80s synthesizer crap'.

Thank you, Dad. That really made my day.

(Yes, it's a deep, deep bass that I modeled on the one on Seba & Paradox's "Last Goodbye" with Sci-Fi pads and a simple two-step beat. Will post it on MySpace soon enough!)

The Fear

Nothing puts the fear of God in you faster than your Executive Creative Director calling up and telling you there's a copy error in your work.

These words must die - Part 1

Like John Tucker, the following words and phrases should be removed from your vocabulary because they're ugly, archaic, irrelevant or completely made up shit:

1. Soap Opera: This word came about through US pharmaceutical P&G's sponsorship of radio shows in the Thirties. Since it's now the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Six, this term is now redundant and so shows like One Tree Hill are dramas, not soaps.

2. Impactful: Sorry, Dilbert; this word doesn't actually exist. It was made up by virgins.

3. Data Capture: What the fuck is this? What do you mean? Are you talking about data collection? Are you talking about recording data? Or do you just want to speak like a cyborg? Tzzzt...zzttt...Shut the fuck up.

4. Thrice: I don't know; it just sounds a bit Obi-Wan Kenobi to me.

5. Synergy: People who use the word 'synergy' also like to read self-help books. Self-help books are rubbish. If you want to help yourself, stop using words like 'synergy'.

6. Kudos: Come on, the word sounds so Eighties.

7. Incumbent: Another way to confuse people in the courtroom.

8. Convulsions: How about 'spasms'?

9. Fucktard: I never really got this one. Does that mean I'm a fucktard?

Jom Gemuk™

I was so stressed out the other day that I decided to channel my energy towards something silly.

So I came up with a TotalWorks campaign for Nasi Lemak. The objective was to get people to feel good about consuming those cute little packets of heart attack. Armed with a napkin and a pen, I sketched out a simple above-the-line campaign that included a TVC, ambient and DM stuff that was supported by an equally no-brainer online campaign which comprised of a microsite, viral videos on Youtube and a cool side-scrolling platform Flash game, like Mario, which encouraged you to collect points, in the form of calories, while on your way to rescue the overweight princess and save the world from the evil Dr Anoreksik (a Nicole Ritchie look-alike).

Wicked.

I even drew the microsite wireframe.

Everybody just fuckin' relax, aite.

Fuck it.

I'm going Cold Turkey tomorrow. God help me.

It's entirely for health reasons, I assure you.

And that valve that traps blood in my penis.

I want it to work when I'm 40.

Hoo-ya.

10 years, and counting

It's been 10 years since high school.

Since then, I have:

- done a lot of drugs.
- gone bungee-jumping in Thailand.
- found the best place for kerabu mangga in Malaysia (it's somewhere in Kajang).
- partied at an oldschool jungle night in Manchester. Boh!
- said "I Love You" and totally meant it, to two lovely ladies.
- discovered the meaning of life (kind of).
- a receding hairline.
- been to Sipadan.
- test-driven a wide variety of luxury sedans at ridiculous speeds on the Kerinchi Link.
- hung out with Jojo Struys (even if you're from a parallel universe, that's gotta count).
- thrown a Merdeka party in a hotel. It rocked.
- tried to quit smoking (seriously) twice. The third time's the charm, as they say.
- climbed up 6, 000ft mountains because I thought it was 'cool'.
- improved my vocabulary, even though I still am a dyslexic motherfucker.
- come to terms with childhood traumas.
- had lunch with Tiesto.
- written for many publications, print and online, that have nothing to do with each other.
- accidentally chatted-up various mate's girlfriends. Sorry!
- played bass guitar for 3 years in a punk/post-grunge/pop/metal/funk band that didn't really go anywhere, but rocked our socks all the same.
- sailed on a ship off the coast of Australia, climbed up the main mast and almost fell a few times on the way down.
- back-packed across East Malaysia.
- taught English to a group of Kadazan-Dusun kindergarten kids, in a small poverty-line village in Kiau Nuluh, Sabah.
- actually had a Guinness with a proper shamrock on the head. Draft, all the way.
- repeatedly failed Statistics.
- met some really cool people in the process.
- watched the film 'Traffic' during a come down. Not advisable, folks.
- auditioned for indie movies.
- written a short story that will never be finished because I'll never get the ending that I really want.
- actually done some wicked graffiti.
- formed my own crew. Junglist for life!

and lots of other stuff I can't remember right now.

Here's to the next ten!

smell it like it is

Mac says he doesn't like me when I'm sober, but I'm sure he's just kidding. Either that, or I must be really funny when I'm drunk.

Oh and thank you, 3M. After helping out my Art Director spray-mount some mock-ups for half an hour, I feel like a highly-evolved glue sniffer.

Sniff, sniff.

Bongo!

I guess I can add "Event Promoter" next to "Copywriter" on my resume. Heh.

Fucking Sphynx

I dropped off my cousin at her condo near Sunway Pyramid yesterday, and as I passed by the mall, I was wondering to myself how the architects managed to convince the investors to part with their money.

"So, it's going to be Egyptian. And we're going to have a car park in between the mall and the theme park, and just to add suspense, we're not going to give clear directions on just how the fuck you're supposed to get there. And it's going to be poorly maintained and people have to walk for miles before they even get to any of the attractions, so they end up buying lots of ice cream and drinks because they get real thirsty."

"But what's the Unique Selling Point, Mr Clever Architect?"

"The selling point? Why, we're gonna put a big fucking sphynx right up front, and people are gonna come because they've never seen a fucking sphynx that big, and golly, that's just fantastic, isn't it!"

Sold!

Old School

Back in the day, one of my favourite advertisements was this ad for Angie’s KENT choice essentials radio show on the now defunct RFM 104.9. It pictured the back of a guy’s head, complete with customary DJ cans and the bold statement:

Thank you pop. Thank you country. Thank you reggae. Thank you trash metal. For now I know why dance music was created.

It was cheeky and elitist, and looking back, it was a bit silly too, because dance music has grown immeasurably by incorporating elements from of all of the above - except for country music.

(But don’t knock off a tech house remix of Garth Brooks just yet. You never know.)

Anyway, it captured the feeling of what it was like to be a raver during that time. What it was like to be part of something new, raw and underground. We were euphoric, invincible and most of all, now we had our own Goddamned radio show, thank you very much.

We felt appreciated.

Rave on

If you’ve been raving long enough, you develop a Rave Radar that tells you whether or not an event is going to rock.

It's like having Spider Sense™ with glowsticks.

So, it came as no surprise that I heard alarm bells and whistles going off when someone told me about that Salem Revelation festival in Melaka. No offence to the nice people who put all that effort into the party, but it had ‘COPS’ written all over it.

Maybe we should start having more 'secret' raves like they've been having in Hong Kong. It wouldn't stop the cops, but it would sure as hell be worth a shot.

Thanks for the fish!

I just saw The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on Astro a few days ago. Everyone told me it was rubbish a year ago, so that's why I didn't watch it when it first came out.

You cunts. Thanks for the great advice.

It's not rubbish at all; it's brilliant.

It's fucking Shakespeare.

I can't remember when I had so much fun watching a comdey like that. Well, probably, the Life of Brian.

So, that's it, isn't it? I think most Malaysians just can't grasp the concept of irony. Or absudrity. Or humourous self-depreciation.

If there's no guy running around with a rocket-launcher blowing up - in between having sex with Scarlett Johansson and racing thugs in Supras - then it's boring.

Boo-hoo.

Heavy Lifting

I noticed that none of the men in my family get up and get their own drinks during the Raya lunch thing we have every year. Their wives are the ones who obediently fetch their water/syrup. They just sit there and shoot a needy look at their wives.

Is that a Malay thing? Or a Married thing?

Whatever it is, I think it's kinda lame.

I've decided that I'm going to get my own Goddamned glass of water when I grow up and get married.

Oh shit.